The Seduction of Superman
by L.D. Eddy
Summary: Superman is looking for the Flash. Clarice Shawe is looking for a good time. Need I say more? WARNING! This story is/contains: AU/OC/OOC!Supes. Enter if you dare. I *would* put this in the crossover section, but I checked the cartoons and for whatever reason Justice League isn't in there so I'll just keep it here with the Arkham stories.
1. Chapter 1

"So, come here often?" Clarice asked, smirking at Superman. He grimaced slightly and looked around the bar.

"No, actually. I'm looking for someone," He said.

"Oh, really? Who? Maybe I could help," She offered.

"I'm looking for the Flash."

"Oh," Clarice snorted. "Him. Don't worry about him, he's with Switch."

"Dead Switch?"

"Any other Switch you know of, Big Blue?" Clarice asked.

"Not really. Thank you, you've been...helpful," He moved to leave but Clarice reached out and grabbed him by his cape.

"Oh, come on Supes, come drink with a lady and keep her company. You don't want anyone to take advantage of me, do you?" Clarice put on what she hoped looked like a good mix between puppy-dog-eyes and innocent-young-woman. "Besides, just suppose how much trouble I could get into without a big strong hero like you around to keep me in check. You wouldn't want to get me into trouble, would you?"

Superman frowned. "No, I don't suppose I do." He sat down next to her at the bar.

"Goodie! Adam, two mojitos!" Clarice called to the bartender.

"Yes, ma'am."

"Oh, I don't drink," Superman protested.

The drinks were poured and handed over to them.

"Too late, Supes. Drink up, you're gonna have fun."

Superman looked at the drink dubiously before drinking it.

"Oh, you drink this?" He asked, frowning at the drink.

"Why? What's wrong with it?"

"It's very...minty," He muttered.

"What? Did you want a daiquiri?" Clarice snorted. "Sure, Superman drinks daiquiris."

The alcohol was flowing until Clarice was feeling pretty good and the Kryptonian was hardly bothered.

"You know," Clarice smirked. "You're pretty sexy."

"Well," Superman rubbed the back of his neck and turned a slight pink. "Thanks?"

"Oh, you're very welcome," Clarice said. She waved over Adam and handed him a couple of large bills. "That about covers it, right?"

"Um, yes ma'am, Miss Shawe," He stammered.

"Have a nice one, bud. Good luck with your exams tomorrow!"

"Exams?" Superman asked.

"Oh, he's studying to be a lawyer."

"And you know this how?"  
"Well, he's my favorite bartender. I like to get to know the people that end up being my favorites. Speaking of," Clarice looked down and glared at her heels. "Stupid shoes. Can't believe I actually own these. Do you mind bringing me back to my apartment, oh favored superhero and third favorite drinking buddy? I don't want to break my neck walking down the street."

"Oh, yes, of course," Clarice grabbed his arm and they walked out of the bar.

Superman swept her into his arms and up they went.

"Holy shit!" Clarice squealed, wrapping her arms around him tightly. "Oh god, if you drop me, I don't think I'd ever be able to forgive you. Can people down there see up my dress? If they see my underwear, Supes, I'm hurting you so bad! I'll...I'll hunt down some kryptonite and murder you."

"I don't doubt it," Superman frowned. "What's your address?"

"29 Pine Street. 9Th floor. Last window on the left hand side if you're facing the front of the building," Clarice mumbled into his neck. "Oh god, please don't drop me!"

"Afraid of heights?"

"Afraid of falling, there's a difference!"

Superman lost his grip for a moment and Clarice let out a shriek before clenching her arms around him tighter and maneuvering so her legs were wrapped around his waist in a vice.

"Hey Supes?"

"What?"

"Anyone ever tell you you have the shoulder-waist ratio of a dorito?"

Superman furrowed his brow. "Not that I can recall."

"So I'm your first huh?" Clarice teased.

"Reaper-"

"Oh, come on, Supes. You've been calling me Clarice all night. Don't stop now."

"Clarice then. We're almost there."

"Oh thank god, I was worried my last mojito would be decorating your cape if we didn't get home soon."

They were silent until they reached her window.

Superman unlatched it and set her down on the sill.

Clarice giggled and took his cape in her fists, resting her head on his chest. "Thank you for flying Krypton-Air. We hope you've enjoyed your flight. Please leave all seats in their upright position."

Superman let out a chuckle.

"Oh, he can laugh!" Clarice smiled, pulling her head back and looking up at him. "Let's see what else he can do," She purred. She pulled him to her by his cape and pushed her lips to his. He jolted in shock.

Her lips were soft against his. She tasted like mint and lime.

One of her legs curled around him and held him close. He let his hands drift up her legs to the edge of her short curve-hugging dress.

He could feel the sharp heel of her strappy shoes digging into him, pushing him even closer to her.

She ground against him, teasing a moan from him. He immediately blushed.

All of the air in his lungs left him when she nibbled gently on his bottom lip.

He pulled away, frowning and furrowing his brow.

"_What_ are you-?"

"Oh, come on Big Blue," Clarice murmured. "Don't leave me with a case of blue, er, ovaries." She let her leg drop from his waist and slowly rubbed her foot up and down the inside of his leg, pausing for a moment when she met the juncture between his legs. "Obviously you like me, otherwise you would _not_ have let me kiss you for so long. Or at all. I mean," She downcast her eyes before looking up at him through her eyelashes. "R-right?"

"You planned all of this, didn't you?" He accused, not buying her bashful act.

Clarice groaned and deflated, crossing her legs. "Fine, fine. I give. I had it planned from the moment you set foot in the 'Berg."

"Why?" He demanded harshly.

"Um, does 'I'm horny and you're sexy' count as a proper answer?" Clarice asked, smiling and biting her lip. "Come on, Supes. You _are_ giving me a case of blue ovaries, I'm gonna combust! Help a lady out, alright?"

"You – Reaper, a villain – want to have- to do-" Superman stuttered, as if the very idea was incredibly deviant and unbelievable.

"To sex?" Clarice suggested, smiling cheekily.

"With me, Superman?" He continued as if she hadn't interrupted him.

"Um...yeah, I thought that was obvious with the whole making out and the grinding and the calling you sexy and the rubbing. I mean, it was obvious, right? Should I have come on stronger?"

"I don't think that would've been a good idea," Superman said, turning a nice shade of maroon.

_I should paint the walls of my bedroom that color,_ Clarice thought, smirking inwardly. She sighed.

"Supes, I'm still horny and you're still very...very..._very_ sexy. I promise I'll be very good," She smirked and leaned back slightly, uncrossing her legs. "Or very _very_ bad. Whatever rocks your tights."

"Clarice, I can't," Superman sighed. He started to move away from her but she grabbed his hand and held tight. If he moved any further away, she'd fall.

"Superman," She said quietly. "I know, I'm the bad girl and you're the good boy, but sex...doesn't have to be about that. It's about two people coming together and having a bit of," She paused and he saw a glimmer in her eyes before she pulled him closer and- She groped his butt! "Fun!" She giggled. "Nice rear bumper, Supes."

He looked down and she groaned.

"If you're upset about it in the morning, I'll let you take me into custody," She smirked. "Hell, I'll even let _you_ put me in handcuffs," She winked at him. "I might even _like_ it."

He let out a chuckle and she let the smirk drop from her lips. She let go of his hand, turned, and climbed into her apartment before looking out the window at Superman.

"So? What do you say?" She turned and walked away a few steps, sashaying her hips as she went. "Are we gonna- mmmppphhh!"

Superman had used his super speed and flown into her apartment.

He gathered her into his arms, keeping his lips against hers.

Clarice moaned. "Oh, god, Supes."

"Call me Kal-El."

"Kal-El?"

"My name. It's Kryptonian."

"Mmm, it's sexy," Clarice muttered against his lips, running her fingers through his hair.

"Where's the bedroom?" Superman bit her lip before kissing a trail along her jaw and collar bone.

With each press of his lips to her skin, Clarice felt a fire building under her skin.

Faintly, she wondered if she really would erupt in flames.

"Last door in the hall," She gasped.

After a few minutes, the shedding of Clarice's clothes and Kal-El's cape, and the realization that he wasn't quite the boyscout everyone thought he was, they finally reached the bedroom.

Kal-El stared down at the pale woman that stood out austerely against the marine colored bedding.

"Has anyone ever told you how beautiful you are, Clarice?" He asked.

Clarice smiled a small smile and closed her eyes for a moment.

"Not for a long time," She admitted.

"You're marvelous," He muttered, slowly shedding his suit.

"If I'm marvelous, you're marvelouser."

"I don't think that's an actual word." He descended upon her, relishing in the feel of her skin against his.

"Don't care," Clarice moaned. "Having fun yet, Kal-El?" Kal-El paused, pulling away to look at her.

"Oh, you have no idea, Clarice," He muttered. "Condom?"

"Nightstand."

He reached over and pulled the drawer open, feeling around in it to find the object he sought.

"Come on," Clarice muttered, nipping at his earlobe and wrapping her legs around him. "Hurry up."

_Finally!_ He thought once he felt the foil wrapper.

He grabbed the elusive object before smirking down at Clarice.

"I don't think we'll be needing those handcuffs in the morning."

"Are you sure? I was actually starting to look forward to them."

* * *

_**A/N: Um...soo...yeah. I have no clue where this came from, it seriously just happened. I blame this entirely on watching too many Justice League cartoons in one day :)**_

_**Um...review? Follow? Favorite?**_

_**I seriously think I should just throw myself in Arkham because of this...**_


	2. Chapter 2

Clarice groggily opened her eyes and frowned at the sunlight.

Since when did she ever leave her drapes open?

"Ugggh," She groaned, pulling the one large pillow on the bed over her eyes.

"Hey, share," She heard a man mumble. She let the pillow drop back to its original place as she gaped in shock. An arm snaked its way around her waist and pulled her back against a very chiseled chest.

Who the hell-?

Oh, _right_.

Clarice smirked.

She, _The Reaper_, had banged Superman. And he _liked_ it.

"I didn't think you'd stay the night. I thought for sure after I fell asleep you'd leave," She said.

"Oh? Why would I?"

"Mm, I dunno. Hero stuff?"

"You guys usually don't operate until nighttime here in Gotham and Wonder Woman's watching over Metropolis for me."

"Ooh, does that mean you can stay here for a while?" Clarice asked, rolling over so she was facing him.

"I wish."

"Damn. I _was_ looking forward to those handcuffs, y'know," She said, winking.

"Oh, really?" He teased.

"Well, I _was_. Honestly, I think I'm gonna be a little too sore today to do much of anything. _You_, Superman, can seriously wear out a girl," She closed her eyes and settled in closer to him. "Gee, I wonder how much my neighbors hate me right now."

"Probably a lot," He kissed her chastely. "You were _incredibly_ loud last night."

"What can I say? I'm a screamer. You didn't exactly hate it. In fact, you encouraged it!"

"Is that right?"

"Oh yeah. It wasn't me that kept moaning 'Say my name! Oh, yeah, Clarice! Fuck! Ugh, oh, yeah, say my name! Reaper, fuck!'" He blushed a severe plum-red. "Honestly, I'm a little _shocked_, Supes. You're a lot more of a dirty boy than you let on. What would the Justice League think?" He froze. "Don't worry. I am _very_ happy being your dirty little secret. Just promise this isn't the last time we do this, alright?" She pressed a kiss to his chest, right and smiled, curling against his side.

"I promise," He mumbled. "Oh, great," He groaned, rolling over onto his back.

"What? What's wrong?"

"I've taken advantage of you."

Clarice burst out in giggles.

"Kal-El, darling," She climbed on top of him and kissed him before getting out of the bed and pulling on her dressing robe. "I think _I'm_ the one that was taking advantage of _you_. Anyway," She turned back to face him and ran a hand through her hair. "What do you want for breakfast?"

"Anything is fine."

"A'right."

She shuffled out to the kitchen and managed to whip up some oatmeal.

She came back and found him leaning up against the headboard with a photo album in his hands.

"Oh," She squeaked, seeing it. "Um-"

"Batman never said anything about you being engaged," He said quietly.

"It's a bit of a sore spot for Batman and I," Clarice said, sitting down next to him. "Frank was my first love. Pathetic, right? But none of the boys during school really liked me and he was...sweet, I guess. Well, he was an ass to everyone but me. And then he started working for Joker and then, when Joker took over the Asylum...he killed him. Batman blames himself, I blame Joker. I had to convince Batsy that it wasn't really his fault. Didn't want my favorite hero to self-destruct because of some stupid clown, right?"

"I thought I was your favorite hero," Kal-El teased.

"Oh, you," Clarice leaned up against him and handed him a bowl of oatmeal. "_You_ are most _definitely_ my favorite hero. _Especially_ after last night." She smiled as he blushed. "Goodness, you've seen me naked and done _naughty_ things to me and you still blush." His pale pink blush turned into a bright magenta.

They ate their breakfast in silence before Kal-El frowned and let out a quiet sigh.

"What? I know I'm not exactly the best cook, but-"

"No, it's not the food. Someone's signaling me," He muttered.

"Oh," Clarice grabbed his empty bowl and set it down on the nightstand. "You go save whoever it is. If you need me...well, at nights I'm usually at the Iceberg. Or at work."

"Work?" He stood up and started to pull his suit on.

"I have a job you know," She teased. "What, you think I'm doing all this villain work for free? Uh-uh, I've got a fee. I'm not cheap. Just ask Jonathan; he's the one paying me."

"Oh, right," He blushed. "I'll be back when I can, I promise."

"Oh, I'm sure you'll keep your promise," Clarice said. She got up and pulled his head down closer to her, pushing her lips to his. He turned and pushed her up against the wall, pinning her there with his hips. She gasped. "Oh yeah, the Justice League would be so shocked."

"I don't exactly care right now about what the Justice League would or wouldn't be," Superman growled, running his tongue against her lip. She moaned and he slipped inside, taking the breath from her and pillaging her mouth. His hands led trails everywhere on her skin, leaving a blaze behind in their wake once they moved. Her heart raced and she clutched at his arms for balance, certain that if he pulled away from her that she'd collapse and turn into a pile of jelly at his feet.

He finally pulled away and she audibly gasped for breath, leaving him with a smirk.

"Jesus, I think I'm going to have to kidnap you at some point, Kal-El," She whispered.

"I don't think I'd object," He pulled away and left her leaning up against the wall looking positively ravaged. She looked at him in a daze and smiled.

"You're gonna want to fix your hair before you go save the world."

He nodded and walked over to the window, shoving it open.

"I'll come back here at around eight tonight," He said. "Wear something nice."

"Oh, I think there will be a problem getting me to wear anything at all." He blushed and launched out of the apartment, leaving Clarice to stare at his rear as he flew away.

* * *

_**A/N: So...yeah...chapter two! Seriously though, please review, even if its just a 'Great Job!' or 'You Suck!' I want to know what you people think!**_

_**Stitcher: Haha, um yeah...I seriously need to reserve a cell for myself at Arkham. All Hail Dorito-Supes!**_

_**Thanks to LaceySionis for favoriting and following and thanks to ashley0921 for following!**_


	3. Chapter 3

Clarice waited a few moments to collect herself before looking around at the state of her room.

"Damn. We really trashed the place."

She pulled all of the bedding off of the bed and left it in a pile by her door before fixing her bed so it was actually up against the wall. She looked around the room and sighed, setting herself to work.

Finally, her room was clean except the last piece of evidence that she and Superman had done the horizontal mambo; the condom.

She reached down to pick it up before noticing something was wrong.

"Wha-?" It was...it looked like something incredibly powerful had torn through it...or...disintegrated it. "Shit. No. Nonono," She muttered, horrified at what the condom presented.

She had to tell Debs.

She dropped the condom and launched herself at her cell phone, dialing up Dead Switch.

"Pick up, pick up, pick up pick up pick up!" She hissed.

"Clarice, what are you doing, calling me so early?" Switch demanded once she picked up the phone. She yawned. "It's only...nine in the morning."

"I fucked Superman."

"WHAT?!"

"Yeah."

"...Did this actually happen or are you telling me about one of your dirty dreams?" Switch asked skeptically.

"He has the cutest little freckle right above his left butt-cheek and he says fuck a lot when he's close to-"

"Oh my god, shut up! I need brain bleach!" Switch started to make gagging noises before turning back to normal. "So, what's the bad news?"

"I think...Superman's Super-Sperm disintegrated the condom," Clarice whispered.

"What'd you say? I couldn't hear you."

"I said...I think Superman's Super-Sperm disintegrated the condom?"

"Again?"

"There's a chance I could be carrying a baby of Krypton because Superman's Krypto-Sperm destroyed the condom, Debs!"

"Oh my god. 'Rice, tha-that's-"

Clarice sighed and fell back on her bed. "I know, I know. It's horrib-"

"It's _hilarious_! Oh my god, wait until I tell Jester that!" Switch erupted in chuckles.

"You will do no such thing!" Clarice hissed. "I promised I wouldn't tell anyone what happened. I had it planned as just a one night stand. Why, why, why does this happen to me?"

"You seriously have the worst luck ever, Clarice."

"I know, I know! Can you please just come over here? I need someone to talk to."

"Fine, fine."

Clarice hung up the phone and dropped it on the bed, waiting for Switch to come clomping up the nine flights of stairs and demand to know the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth so help her Bondageman.

It took about ten minutes for Switch to get there due to her...rather interesting driving habits.

"Spill!" She demanded.

"Just look!" Clarice snapped, pointing to the destroyed latex on the ground.

"That's the condom?" Switch asked incredulously.

"Yes! Yes, that is the condom!"

"Jesus Christ, what the hell is in his sperm?!"

"I have no clue, but it got through the condom and that means Superman's super-strength super-sperm has more than likely made its way to my human, therefore weaker, egg."

"Haha, you're totally knocked up!"

"It's not funny Debs!" Clarice seethed.

"It fucking is!"

"What am I going to tell him?" Clarice moaned.

"That he's done the impossible?" Switch suggested. "His sperm can leap protection in a single bound? That he'll have to change his name to Superdad now?"

"Shut up, Switch!"

"Just a few suggestions, don't bite my head off!"

"Don't make fun of it! Oh my God! Is his baby going to kill me? Will it crawl out of my chest like the alien babies in Alien? Oh my GOD!"

Switch groaned as Reaper started to hyperventilate. "I doubt it. And if you want to know if it will, why don't you tell Superman that he put a bun in your oven? Oh! Will you bake it even faster since its a Krypto-Baby?!"

"Oh god, I hope not," Clarice looked at Switch in horror.

"Ha! Your face!"

The girls froze and turned as they heard tapping on the window. Superman was knocking on the glass.

Switch quickly hid the condom and Clarice rushed over to the window, letting him in.

"Hey, Big Blue," Switch greeted. He blushed.

"I think I left my cape here," He muttered sheepishly. "Do you know where it is?" He asked.

"Oh, yeah, just a sec," Clarice said, rushing out of the bedroom and into the hall.

"Soo, how was your night?" Switch asked, smirking evilly.

"It was um...exciting."

"You have fun?"

Superman slowly started to turn pink.

"Yeah. Yeah, I had a lot of fun."

Clarice ran back into the room, the red cape piled in her arms.

She handed it to Superman and he smiled.

"Thanks."

"We still on for-"

"She's carrying your Krypto-Baby!" Switch said. She covered her mouth and stared at Clarice in shock. "Oops?" She mumbled through her hands.

"Debs!" Clarice snapped angrily, her voice reaching a few pitches higher.

"What? Come on, you have to let him know at some point!"

"Well, I was going to wait a few weeks until I missed my period! I was going to take a pregnancy test! I didn't want to sound nuts!"

"You think you're pregnant?" Superman asked slowly, his face flushing of all colors, leaving him looking pale and shocked.

"Umm...just...I'll show you why I think so," Clarice rushed over to where Switch had hidden the condom and held it up so Superman could see it, ducking her head bashfully. "This is the..." She cleared her throat. "From last night.

"Oh. Um. Oh," Superman's mouth opened and closed as he floundered for words.

"Is the baby going to claw its way out of her or is it going to be born naturally? We've seen too many alien movies, including Alien, we just want to be prepared," She added once Clarice shot her a glare. Clarice turned completely red.

"I-I have no ide- I-" Superman climbed into the room and sat on the bed. "I suppose it would be the same as giving birth to a human. We are similar enough."

"Yeah, except for the fact that your sperm can leap protection in a single bound," Switch snorted.

Superman ducked his head.

"Perhaps we should go see one of the doctors at the Watchtower after I deal with Captain Cold?" He suggested.

"Oh, kill me now! Why do these things always happen to me? Why can't they happen to Debs?!"

"Because I didn't bang a Kryptonian?"

"Worst. Friend. Ever."

* * *

_**A/N:**_

_**So, the whole entire thing that started this story was my brain thinking of the sentence "I think Superman's Super-Sperm destroyed the condom!"**_

_**I blame it on the Justice League Cartoons :)**_

_**Stitcher: Haha, Can't resist or won't resist?**_

_**LaceySionis: Haha, Clarice is just...she's a personality, isn't she? A very large personality XD This should continue on for a little while, hope you enjoyed this chapter :)**_


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